Queen Bees…..

I’m back from Pinehurst, feeling good and refreshed, and relaxed from a weekend away from my busy home life. Actually, I would say that if I were typing that on Sunday, when I returned home, but the reality is that today is Thursday, and normal life has caught back up with me. That’s okay, though. It’s 6:30, and I’ve already got one child in bed, with another on her way.

The weekend was great. As I said the other day, it was a church retreat, but one that was not too church-ish. I don’t know about you, but I personally am turned off by in-your-face religion of any kind, which is probably why I’m a Presbyterian. We’re kind of allowed to get away with a little bit of debaucheries.

There were 211 women on the trip, women ranging in age from 25 up to 90. I had lots of friendly acquaintances going, but no truly close friends. I told the husband before I left that I was actually feeling a little nervous about the weekend. Would I find people to hang out with? Was I packing the right clothes? Would my roommate and I get along?  Luckily, I was rooming with a girl who was pretty much in the same boat as me. We both knew lots of people there, but were not really embedded in any of the cliques. And, we also already knew each other, just not super-well. We turned out to be a great match.

But here’s the thing about women: we don’t ever really grow up. We kind of go from this…….

to (a less rich version of) this:

Okay, so maybe we’re not all the Real Housewives. But, in large numbers, we all sort of act the same way, whether we’re 16 or 46. Cliques exist, and whether we like to admit it or not, there is a social hierarchy. The difference between adult women and teenage women, at least in my observation, is that there are just more places for adult women to fit in, and to find our own cliques. No matter how much confidence I have, I don’t think I would ever feel comfortable just walking up to a table of women that I don’t really know, and  ingratiating myself into their conversation. We don’t really ever leave the high school cafeteria, do we? I don’t think I’m insecure, but I know how we can be. In fact, the speaker at the retreat really called out Southern women. She said that we’re sugary-sweet to everyone’s faces, but we think nasty thoughts as the other woman is walking away. I hate to think it’s true, but, well, it’s true.

All that being said, I had a great weekend. I forged some new friendships, enjoyed some downtime, and maybe even grew a little spiritually.

Oh, and as far as packing the right clothes? I didn’t. Not even close. I had been told it was super-casual. My outfit for Sunday included yoga pants. Everyone else was casual, too, but more like Lilly Pulitzer casual, not C9 by Champion for Target casual. Talk about feeling self-conscious. Ugh. And, of course, it was the one time in my life that I didn’t overpack. Next time I’ll know.