Monday, February 10, 2014

Hoarders, Doggy Style

I refuse to even discuss the fact that Snowpacalypse, Round II is getting ready to happen here. Instead, I will try to put into words an experience I had over the weekend. It's a story worthy of a Hoarders episode.

Let's begin. My friend has dog fever. And, being a kind-hearted person (sometimes), she wants to save a dog from the perils of a shelter, or some other kind of rescue organization. However, she also wants a Yorkie, and the shelters just don't seem to have too many purebreds. Or maybe they're just feeding them to the pit bulls. Either way, she has been forced to dig deep for a rescue Yorkie.

Enter Barbara. My friend found Barbara online (of course) through the Yorkie rescue site that Barbara runs. The site showcases all of Barbara's adorable Yorkie rescues, and they look pretty good. I'm thinking Barbara is good with Photoshop. At any rate, I went with my friend tomy hometown to look at Barbara's dogs on Saturday. Now, being from this particular town, I like to think I know the area pretty well. I can tell you for certain I have never been to Barbara's part of town before. In fact, the inner-snob in me does not even claim it.

So we roll up this long dirt/gravel driveway, where we are greeted by multiple signs warning us of dogs. And then, after what seems like ages, we get to the house. It might be 1000 square feet. Maybe. I had my kids with me, so we all walked up and knocked on the door. Barbara and about 100 Yorkies came to the door. Seriously, 100 may be an exaggeration, but there is no way there were fewer than 25 dogs in that house.

My kids were freaked out, but finally came in (after several dogs tried to make a jail break). It was evident that someone had just had an accident in the house, because the stench was nauseating. Davis, being overly honest, announced, "It stinks in here", held his hand to his nose and refused to move it. Then he decided he would just wait outside. I mean, if the child who pees on every surface of the bathroom except the toilet can't handle it, you know it's bad. Barbara, oblivious, says, "Does it smell bad in here?" It was the equivalent of asking if a garbage truck in July smells bad.

To say Barbara was batshit crazy would be the understatement of the year. I'd say she was in her sixties, but it was hard to tell. My friend was trying to play with the dogs, see if she liked any of them. Barbara seemed to know nothing about any of them. She kept sneaking off to the one bedroom in the house to pull the dogs' files. The highlight was when my friend was bonding with one particular female dog, and Barbara started feeling around on the poor dog, saying, "I don't think she's pregnant, but I would want to do an x-ray to be sure." Another key moment was when we asked about the age of another dog, and Melissa looked at the dogs' teeth and said, "Definitely three to four years. Yes, two or three years. He's three. Exactly three."

Other highlights:
- When Barbara started browning some ground beef on the stove mid-visit.
- When a chihuahua made a jailbreak from the bedroom and came out wearing a spike collar and started growling at Ava.
-The dog that had lost an eye but not had the area sewn up. Gross.
-The dog that scaled a puppy gate like it was NBD.
-The husband that sat in the next room watching tv, surrounded by at least 4 dogs, all barking. The husband never spoke to us.

Needless to say, my friend did not rescue a dog from Barbara. It all felt too shady. But it made for quite an adventure.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday Snowday Randoms

It's Friday, so here are just a few bits of randomness for you:

1. We have been snowed in since Tuesday. And by "snowed in", I mean that on Tuesday night, we got about 2 or 3 inches of snow. No school Tuesday, due to threat of snow. Okay, based on what happened in Raleigh back in 2006, and Atlanta this week, that was probably a good call. Then Wednesday was a real snow day. Yesterday there were still some slick spots. Today? I was hoping we'd just have a delay, but nope. Snowed in again with a predicted high of 52.

Luckily for me, I've got a sitter coming and am planning to GTFO of this house for a while. In the meantime, lots of chanting of the Serenity Now prayer.

2. One thing about growing up with a sibling 10 years older than me is that it did not prepare me for dealing with sibling relations in my own kids. I don't feel like I have a good sense of what's normal fighting and what's going overboard. Sometimes I'm tempted to just lock them in a room together and see what happens. I think I'd put my money on Ava.

3. Speaking of Ava, she had a meltdown that lasted 90 minutes last night. How is that possible? She is EIGHT. All I can hope for is that the level of determination she has will drive her into some high-paying career that will provide a really nice retirement for me.

4. I kind of hate yoga, but am finding myself becoming addicted to hot yoga. So weird, right? There is something so cleansing about literally pouring sweat from your body for an hour. Love.

5. We finally started watching Game of Thrones here, and let me tell you, I am so addicted. I'm also reading the first book. Really good. And, ladies, just in case you think it might not be your cup of tea (you're wrong), there are some super hot other-worldly boys on the show. My fave? Jon Snow. Drool.

That's it for today. I'm going to go straighten our house so my sitter doesn't report us to child services for living in squalor. If you're home with kids again today, Godspeed, my friends. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

What I'm Listening To Now

I'm finally catching up and bringing you my first post of 2014. Today, it's all about music. My musical taste is all over the place, but here are a few of my current faves:

1. Arctic Monkeys: "Do I Wanna Know"
This song is kind of my everything right now. And the lyrics are so good. How can you beat "the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"? Arctic Monkeys remind me a tiny bit of the Black Keys, I think. 

 2. Katy Perry: "Dark Horse"
I'm not a huge Katy Perry fan, and I'm really creeped out by the video for "Who You Love" with John Mayer. However, Dark Horse is, in my opinion, her best song ever. 

3. Martin Garrix: "Animals"
Y'all, this kid is 17. SEVENTEEN. "Animals" is on one of my running mixes, and I love to crank it super loud.

4. Ellie Goulding: "Burn"
I pretty much love everything she does. Her voice, her sound. But this one tops my list.

5.John Legend: "All of Me"
This one has been on my list for a while. Maybe the sexiest song ever. For real. Just listen to the words.

6. Any live Phish.
So, this is a bit of a throwback for me. Despite having seen these guys a lot of times (twenty something, if you count the solo Trey shows), I had kind of gotten away from them for a while. But then I started listening to some old live stuff, and I just don't see how anyone can say they aren't one of the greatest rock bands of our time. If you've got 23 minutes to spare, watch this live performance of "Chalkdust Torture" from last August in Colorado. If you don't have 23 mintues, just watch the first few.

I told you I'm all over the place. Hope you enjoy, and if you've got any music you think I need to check out, just leave it in the comments.