Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Lumps of Coal

The Grimes kids are well on their way to getting stockings full of nothing for Christmas. December ushered in a whole new level of bad that no Elf on the Shelf can seem to curb.

I think we talked to this guy too early. Especially since he told the kids there is "no such thing as a naughty list." WTF, Santa? Also, he looks too jolly.

A quick rundown of the last couple of days. Let's start with Davis:

Yesterday we were riding home from preschool and I was vaguely aware that he had a pen in his hand. Since I was streaming the new Britney album, I was maybe a little not paying attention. I turned around to find him drawing all over the leather that lines the inside of the door. Luckily, it was Morgan's car, which is pretty much a roving trash can, but still. He knew it was wrong. We had one of his friends in the car, and I guess he was trying to show off. I don't know.

But it didn't stop there.

While Davis and the friend were playing at our house, it got a little too quiet. I later noticed that "they" (Davis) had managed to pour red glitter all over the bathroom, and the carpet in Davis' bedroom. Naughty. Just so you know, glitter doesn't really come up all that easily. So, it's now tracked all over the house, like an elf vomited Christmas glitter on every surface.

Then today, I came to pick Davis up from school. I was met by the preschool director, who was escorting Davis and another boy toward me. The other boy's mom and I had to go in and have a "little talk" about the fact that they boys had mashed a bunch of playdough into the rug in the classroom. All the while that the director was talking, I could see Davis stifling a grin. I was mortified. By the end of the discussion, he had the giggles under control, but he's spending the afternoon in his room, and I'm making him use his money to replace the playdough.

Then there's Ava. She's actually been pretty good, up until this morning, when she tried to fake being sick. I let it ride for a little while, then around 10 told her she was fine and needed to go to school. That led to a massive drama-fest, which included her slamming her door and sliding this note to us underneath it:

Gotta give her props for correct spelling throughout. I think she's lacking a comma or two, though. Maybe I'll red ink it and give it back to her. After all, in her tirade, she did mention wanting to be home schooled.

I'm not saying they're on the naughty list, but I think the Christmas budget just had a big shift to the "Mommy's presents" column.


  1. Carter, you are scaring me! Thank you for telling it like it is, lol! Though I cringe at the thought of a future home with play dough and glitter mashed into carpets and floors. You are perfectly justified in moving presents over to the Mom column!

    1. You've got it made because you know what not to do, based on your friends' mistakes!

  2. This is funny. Sorry. It's not, but it is. The note cracked me up.