Not In the Mood.

Dinner. That's what I'm not in the mood for. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to plan it. I don't want to cook it. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am in a major cooking rut. It's like I can't even wrap my brain around planning meals for a night, much less a week.

It's not that I don't like to cook. I actually love to cook. I hate planning meals, though. HATE. And for some reason, I don't have a tried and true menu that I always cook from. I think that's the the problem with loving-to-cook. When my schedule was less hectic that it is now, I used to love to experiment with new recipes, making something new and different several times a week.

 

via here and here

Now? I'm happy to just scramble some eggs and call it a night.

I have tons of yummy-looking recipes pinned on Pinterest. I have a huge collection of Bon Apetit and Cooking Light magazines. I have some amazing cookbooks.But motivation? I have none.

And, I'll be honest. This is what I'd really like to make and eat:

via here

I'm actually a lot better in the winter, which is sad because summer food is so much better. But some of the easy factor goes away with the yumminess of summer's bounty. Who wants a hot cassrole in the middle of August? Not me. And frankly, I don't even like to buy produce from the regular grocery store in the summer.  Tomatoes from Mexico? That's just silly. I live in North Carolina. I'm a stones throw from miles and miles of farmland.

I'd rather get fresh, local fruit and veggies from the farmer's market. But, of course, that is kind of a haul, and it's hot out there, and I have the kids, and blah blah blah. Just another excuse to order take-out.

So, here I sit, at 2:30 on a Monday afternoon, with no idea what's for dinner. NO IDEA. At this point, it's a toss up between cereal and a frozen pizza.

Anyone know what wines go best with Honey Nut Cheerios?

Oh, sweet sleep.

In the last 6 months, or maybe it's more like 3, I have lost my mind and become a morning exerciser. It is the only time of day I can count on to be my own, so I claim the early hour with pride. However it does often take GREAT effort to pry me from the comfort of my loving bed, and every morning, I have multiple conversations with myself regarding reasons NOT to get up. Now that  it's actually light and warm at 6am, getting up is not as much of a chore. And do you know what my biggest motivation is? Cocktail hour. You see, the husband does not usually arrive home until sometime around 7pm, so an evening run would not be over until around 8. And that? Means wine would not be feasible until that time. And frankly, I don't like a glass of wine after a run. I think that's what distinguishes me from someone with a REAL drinking problem. (Hi Mom). Seriously, though. I mean, if I had an actual problem, I would be like, "hey, just finished a 4 mile run, so that means I can have a few extra glasses of Chardonnay!" Not the case here. I guess post-exercise, I get in some stupid let's-be-healthy frame of mind and just sip on water the rest of the night.

Speaking of the rest of the night, I would like to mention that I need about 3 more hours of wakeful time during the evening/night, when the kids are asleep. I mean, I have lots of TV to watch, lots of laundry to fold, lots and lots of books to read ( a huge source of stress for me - there are way too many good books out there and I fear that I will never get through all of them! Or that I will miss the best of them!!). But these two little people (and one big person) that live with me take up all my daytime hours, leaving only a few precious me hours at night. Sometimes I find myself wanting to pull an all-nighter just to get stuff done, but the fear of extreme tiredness the next day keeps me from actually going through with it. I may or may not have had a small meltdown this morning, the theme of which was, "I am a failure as a wife and mother and a constant disappointment to those around me." (And I wonder where my daughter gets her flair for the dramatic.) I also may or may not have mumbled loud enough for my husband to hear, "sometimes it's like I have THREE children to take care of." Of course, my eldest heard me and quickly said, "Mommy, you only have two children." Oh, right. Thanks for the clarification, oh wise one.

Anyway, we're all good here now. Had a good day, didn't get much done, but did go out to lunch AND purchased a blender, so that's all good news. Plus, my husband is having a colonoscopy tomorrow, which means I don't have to cook dinner tonight. Yay for medical procedures that make you have to fast and spend the night in the bathroom!!

Cheerio!