Thursday, May 13, 2010

Oh, sweet sleep.

In the last 6 months, or maybe it's more like 3, I have lost my mind and become a morning exerciser. It is the only time of day I can count on to be my own, so I claim the early hour with pride. However it does often take GREAT effort to pry me from the comfort of my loving bed, and every morning, I have multiple conversations with myself regarding reasons NOT to get up. Now that  it's actually light and warm at 6am, getting up is not as much of a chore. And do you know what my biggest motivation is? Cocktail hour. You see, the husband does not usually arrive home until sometime around 7pm, so an evening run would not be over until around 8. And that? Means wine would not be feasible until that time. And frankly, I don't like a glass of wine after a run. I think that's what distinguishes me from someone with a REAL drinking problem. (Hi Mom). Seriously, though. I mean, if I had an actual problem, I would be like, "hey, just finished a 4 mile run, so that means I can have a few extra glasses of Chardonnay!" Not the case here. I guess post-exercise, I get in some stupid let's-be-healthy frame of mind and just sip on water the rest of the night.

Speaking of the rest of the night, I would like to mention that I need about 3 more hours of wakeful time during the evening/night, when the kids are asleep. I mean, I have lots of TV to watch, lots of laundry to fold, lots and lots of books to read ( a huge source of stress for me - there are way too many good books out there and I fear that I will never get through all of them! Or that I will miss the best of them!!). But these two little people (and one big person) that live with me take up all my daytime hours, leaving only a few precious me hours at night. Sometimes I find myself wanting to pull an all-nighter just to get stuff done, but the fear of extreme tiredness the next day keeps me from actually going through with it. I may or may not have had a small meltdown this morning, the theme of which was, "I am a failure as a wife and mother and a constant disappointment to those around me." (And I wonder where my daughter gets her flair for the dramatic.) I also may or may not have mumbled loud enough for my husband to hear, "sometimes it's like I have THREE children to take care of." Of course, my eldest heard me and quickly said, "Mommy, you only have two children." Oh, right. Thanks for the clarification, oh wise one.

Anyway, we're all good here now. Had a good day, didn't get much done, but did go out to lunch AND purchased a blender, so that's all good news. Plus, my husband is having a colonoscopy tomorrow, which means I don't have to cook dinner tonight. Yay for medical procedures that make you have to fast and spend the night in the bathroom!!


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