Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Halloween Scrooge.

Here's my confession for the day: I loathe Halloween.

Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration. For the kids, I love Halloween. I get to steal their excess candy. What's not to love? I enjoy dressing them up and taking their pictures, and maybe even slapping a little makeup on Ava. (This year, we're going as a mother-daughter team from Toddlers and Tiaras. Just kidding).

I even like decorating my house. I just picked up some giant spiders from Target, along with some webbing, so this weekend, they will take over my front porch. I like pumpkins, I like ghosts, etc. And I love perusing Pinterest for more decorating ideas!

halloween #halloween


halloween decor

all images via Pinterest
I also like cooking anything sweet with pumpkin. Paula Deen's pumpkin bars are definitely getting made this week:
I also think this is hilarious. Unfortunately, it would give Ava nightmares for years to come:
for halloween
via Pinterest

But here's what I hate: adult costumes. We're invited to a couple of Halloween parties, and I'm trying hard to be a good sport, but I am so bad at coming up with good costumes it isn't even funny. I feel like you're supposed to do something as a couple, and so far, Morgan and I are  coming up empty. My only idea so far has been Teresa and Joe Guidice from Real Housewives of NJ.

I thought it would be funny to get Morgan to spend the evening in a wife beater, but he wasn't so amused. He seems to want to reprise a costume of his from about 10 years ago. He calls it "Count Blackjackula." He dressed up as a vampire, but instead of a cape, he donned a felt tablecloth for a poker table.

I'm at a loss and just can't decide what to be. I'll probably end up with a prefab costume from a Halloween shop. Honestly, though, there aren't that many costumes for women that aren't some slutty version of something. Sluttly Alice in Wonderland? Check. Slutty maid? Check. Slutty cheerleader? Check. Thanks, costume industry. Oh, and I've even noticed that a lot of the little girls' costumes are taking on a tawdry appearance. Nice. No need for them to have their own boobs! Just put some fake ones in a costume and let them pretend to be 19!

Oh, and yes, I do see the incongruity in my wanting to dress as a RHONJ while bereating costumes being too sexy. But being Teresa is funny. So it's different.

If you have suggestions about what we  can be, please leave them in the comments below. Otherwise, I may end up as another one of Count Blackjackula's victims.



  1. We are stick in the muds and do go anywhere on Halloween. There is a big halloween party down the street, but we don't get invited. We got invited one year and didn't go so we got bumped off, I guess. I feel your pain, and I totally agree with you about the slutty costumes. What's up with that. Instead of's slut-o-ween. It's really odd because it so wasn't like that when I was in college, but that was a long time ago. :)

  2. Joe and I won last year as Dog and Beth the Bounty Hunters. totally hysterical. Morgan would look fab with a mullet wig ;) This year we are struggling. Prob Popeye and olyve Oil or the outlet and plug. you could put him in an orange shirt and make the pie sign with tape and he could be pumpkin pie and you could dress up as whip cream? I saw that on Pinterest and it was cute. good luck!