Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Candles on my cake

I think that title is the name of an OPI nail polish color. Why is it that I can probably name at least ten nail polish colors, but would be at a loss to list all of the world’s major bodies of water? (Those always stump me on Jeopardy).

My birthday came and went yesterday, and it was a really fun day. I didn’t do anything extraordinary, but I just enjoyed myself and felt really happy all day long. As I think I mentioned last week, this birthday was number 35 for me. I’ll be honest….it’s the first birthday I haven’t really been excited about. I feel like at thirty-five, I’m supposed to have my act totally together, my life 100% on track, and just be a bona fide adult.

Truth be told, that’s not me at all most days. Maybe I pull off the illusion once in a while, but half the time I still question my own decisions, wonder if I’m disciplining my kids correctly, struggle with making adult choices, and often run to my parents for support. I just don’t really FEEL thirty-five. Or, as I told my sister, I don’t feel like I expected to feel at thirty-five. At least not if you’d asked me a decade ago.

It’s funny, when we have babysitters, I sort of have this whole imaginary thing going on in my head where the babysitters can SO relate to me because we’re SO close in age. In reality, I’m pretty sure they see me the same way I used to see the moms whose kids I would watch. They were nice, and maybe hip thirtysomethings, but they were definitely WAY older than me. So we both watch Real Housewives of New Jersey? That just gives us something in common. It doesn’t make us peers.

And that’s okay.

And you know what else?

I got carded last week.

So take that, mid-thirties.

1 comment:

  1. Happy Belated Birthday!!

    I know how you feel. I had a very hard time with 42 which is why I started blogging. Look at it this way...when you are my age, you'll be all done with the small children phase, and still feel and be young, and have a lot more time on your hands. I wouldn't change things in my life because I like the way the cards stacked, but I sometimes feel my youth slipping away, and when I'm going to have some time, I'll be a lot older, not as hip, and probably have wrinkles.